Sudden Death - Epilogue 1

[shivalries]

CW: suicidal thoughts

Season: Winter

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Location: Ryokan - Day

(Just over a week later, at the end of the SS qualifiers—in the ES idol-exclusive ryokan)



Tsukasa: ......

(I guess the SS qualifiers have ended just now.)

(I feel rather calm, strangely enough.)

(With this, I can rest at last...)

(If I am to be tormented by the dull, aching pain of defeat and regret any longer, I would sooner choose to breathe my last...)

(...Perhaps these dark thoughts are the blood of my warrior ancestors at work—my Suou family forebears who cleansed themselves of their shame and their sins with the ritual act of seppuku.)

(I know that live battles, and even SS, are nothing like real war. We do not die when defeated—but that only makes it all the more painful.)

(I cannot even atone for my wrongs with my own death.)

(I wonder if this is how Leo-san felt when he had isolated himself.)

(My own wrongdoings tainted and harmed the ones that I love, put them through so much bitterness, and yet...)

(Even if I offer up all that I am, I cannot atone, nor can I repay them.)

(So this is... defeat. This... is despair. This is...)



Kohaku: —Hey there, sonny.

Tsukasa: Oukawa...?

What business could you possibly have with me now?



Kohaku: ......

Tsukasa: If you have even an ounce of love—no, respect for me, you will leave this place in silence.

I do not wish for you, if only you, to see me like this.

I am a coward—ensnared in a trap, defeated, bereft of any will to stand up and fight again, left only to cower alone in the dark.

Kohaku: Speakin' o' which, where are those Knights fellas? They left ya here all on your lonesome like this?

Guess they don't need their stupid, useless, weak baby knightling anymore, eh?

Tsukasa: Do not insult my seniors, Oukawa. I will not allow it, even from you.

My seniors—my dear, respected seniors—are strong, unlike me. Even after that day—that day when you caught us in your trap and wrung us for all that we were worth...

My seniors did not give in. They are continuing to struggle until the very last moment.

I believe Ritsu-senpai and Narukami-senpai are still performing in that theater we rented, as planned. This will not earn us any chance at victory. It has no meaning at all.

And yet, they continue to sing and dance with all their might for the fans who have gathered here to see us.

Kohaku: ......

Tsukasa: But I... I could not bring myself to. It is as if the very core of my being has been ripped from my body. I am cowardly, shameful... I want to die.

While I lie here useless, the new recruits whom we had long neglected are doing their very best in my place.

They are standing upon the stage and putting in their every effort to entertain the audience.

As idols, they are far more proper, far more noble than I.

I... was never someone so incredible. My seniors acknowledged me, loved me, and entrusted the crown to me, yet I could do nothing. Nothing at all—

My miserable defeat has marred Knights' good name. Yet the worst part is... just this one, insignificant event is enough to render me unable to lift a single finger.

I am so ashamed... All of this was for naught.

All that I thought I had built up, that I thought I was successfully carrying upon my shoulders... had never existed in the first place.

It was all an illusion, like the resplendent, invisible robes the foolish emperor of legend thought he had been wearing.

Kohaku: Hmmm? So by that logic, that'd make us the clever little kiddos who asked why you're walkin' around naked, huh?

Tsukasa: Yes. You are all truly incredible. Born with nothing to your name, no status to speak of, yet so powerful—just like Trickstar.

I may be the heir to the great Suou bloodline and the king who sits upon the throne Knights, but you are far, far stronger.

Your strength and your brilliance are genuine, unlike mine.

It makes me so very envious—

Kohaku: Ko ko ko ♪ Sure are down in the dumps, aren't ya? Looks like ya learned your lesson.

You've always been real stuck up and short-sighted, and ya never gave enough of a thought to us losers and weaklings down below.

Now that you're in our shoes, I reckon you've got a good taste o' the humiliation we had to endure, huh? How about it, you understand now?

Tsukasa: I do. Painfully so—

Kohaku: —Nah. Sorry, I take it back.

Tsukasa: ......?

Kohaku: You've changed.

Way back when, you were a nasty lil' piece o' work, actin' like it was natural we'd be beneath ya. So stuck up we didn't know what to do with ya.

You were just another arrogant asshole like the rest of the Suous, steppin' on us without knowin' a single thing.

But somethin's changed in ya. Back then, your baby cuteness was the only thing you had goin' for ya, but now—you're a fine man, somebody to be admired.

You've been takin' care of and protectin' those newbies o' yours, right? The ones who basked in the light of Knights, yearned for it, and wanted t'be a part of it themselves.

I'm sure as heck they're grateful to you.

That's why they're out there standin' on the stage while ya can't make a move yourself, right?

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