Clown, Crown (TL)

[shivalries]

Title: Clown, Crown
Written by: Akira
Proofing: iridesenescence

This is the short story that came out along with the Reminiscence Selection: Checkmate anime. It's likely meant to be read after watching the anime, though it's not directly related. In fact, this is probably best read as a palate-cleanser before reading Knights climax event!

The story is told from Tsukasa's POV, with his own dialogue seamlessly weaved into his narration, giving this piece a dream-like, introspective quality. Please enjoy!

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The boy said he wanted to be a prince, and I scoffed.

—What childish delusions!

It was so absurd, so very comical, I could not stop my laughter, nor the tears filling up my eyes, nor my body rolling sideways as I clutched my stomach in mirth. As I did, the boy took his stick and lashed at me with merciless strikes.

What senseless violence!

What, pray tell, is so wrong with making a fool out of the foolish?

"I'm not a fool! Stop making fun of me! I'm not stupid, okay?!"

The slightly taller boy's eyes filled with tears as well—angry tears, unlike mine. Face burning red as an enraged monkey, he stomped his feet on the ground.

Goodness. What to do with such a child?

If you fancy yourself a noble, you'd do well to learn to restrain your emotions, you know.

"Not like you can 'restrain your emotions', either, Tsukasa! You're literally rolling around on the floor! Stupiiiid!"

Perhaps the excessive anger had ironically caused him to crack a smile, for the lips of the young Himemiya heir were twisted into a strange wobbled line as he straddled me and rained down further punishment.

Tori Himemiya's hair was as pink as a fetus' skin; his face glowed with loveliness, not a single blotch, mark, or crease of concern. It was the face of a child raised and coddled with tender care.

This very boy now wore the inscrutable expression of a clown. Whether he was lamenting or playing the fool, none could tell.

Bewildered, I could not decide what face to make back at him.

"...You know my little sister?"

As things grew awkward, Tori-kun began to mumble, as if talking to himself.

"She said she wants to be a princess."

Impossible. I scoffed again at this foolish thought.

Perhaps in a bygone era, the direct heirs to a warrior-class family like the Suous would have been called "lords" or "princesses"... but Tori-kun, you come from a bloodline of common riff-raff simply riding on their sudden affluence in recent years—

"Riff-raff? You like using weird words, don't you? Where do you even learn stuff like that?"

And I'm riding on you right now, horsie, the mean-spirited Tori-kun seemed to say as he perched atop me and pretended to pull on invisible reins. Please, Tori-kun, stop this.

"It's not that super serious, okay? It's more like... hm... like a fairy tale? It's just a feeling, not something my sister thinks will actually happen."

I'd thought your sister was more of a realist than you are, though?

"She's still a little kid, and a girl at that. What's weird about dreaming of life in a fairy-tale land?"

I'm fairly certain most commoners dream of living your life of riches—riches far greater than the Suous', as much I am loath to admit.

"I said it's not about reality. Fairy tales aren't real."

Tori-kun scrunched his lips, as if he didn't quite understand it all himself.

"It's more like... a fantasy, you know? My little sister—no, the entire Himemiya family lives a life that anybody'd be jealous of. I mean, you're jealous too, right, Tsukasa?"

A smirk crept up on Tori-kun's face; he seemed intent on mocking me as much as I'd mocked him.

"But you know... when you're already so happy with your real life, you start dreaming. Your wishes keep growing bigger and bigger, and you start looking for things beyond what's real."

Tori-kun described his sister's feelings as if they were his own. Perhaps he didn't perceive much of a strong division between himself and his sister in the first place—the two were very similar, after all.

"So I think what my sister dreams about is having a fairy-tale princess life. It's not about money or status. It's more, um... you know, romantic than that."

With the air of the wise teaching the ignorant, he continued.

"She doesn't want gold or jewels or an even cushier lifestyle. She said she fantasizes about stuff you'd see in a picture book, like suddenly spotting a handsome man sneaking into the mansion grounds from her window. The man would then take her hand—the princess's hand—and lead her into a life of freedom and true love..."

He always talked like he was so very clever and knowledgeable.

"If that was real life, that guy would literally be arrested for breaking in and kidnapping her, right? But that's the kinda naive romantic stuff my little sis dreams about."

Even so, he poured so much love into his words.

"I dunno anything about romance, but I already told myself I'm never gonna deny my little sis anything. She looks just like me. She's basically another me who just happened to be born as a girl."

So, your sister's princess dreams inspired you to dream of being a prince?

"Not really. I'm just copying my sister. She's not allowed to have anything I don't have, 'cause that's not fair."

Tori-kun looked up at the faraway sky, clear jealousy painted across his face.

"So if she's a princess, then obviously I'm a prince, right?"

And this is why you suddenly said you wanted to start training to be a prince?

Must you bother me with such nonsense, though? Your so-called "prince training" so far has been nothing more than waving around a stick and smacking me with it.

"So what? It's not like we have anything to do while we're waiting for our papas to finish talking."

The two of us were in the Suou mansion garden then, a lush place kept beautifully and carefully trimmed. That day, the head of the Suou family and the head of the Himemiya family—our parents, as it were—were having grown-up discussions about land and ownership and other such things.

Tori-kun had arrived here clinging to his parents' sleeves, but, of course, he was told to "play with his friend Tsukasa-kun"—the most ignorant of requests, I might add, as he's done nothing but stubbornly insist on pestering me.

We aren't even friends to begin with, Tori-kun. We just happen to be two boys of the same age, born into similar walks of life.

"But because we're so similar, you know how I feel, right?"

Of course not. We are two separate people.

I'm quite certain that never in my life will I let myself drown in such childish fantasies.

✱ ✱ ✱
On that day, I had scoffed at his fantastical ideas. [1]

Even so, I had nothing else to do at the time, and I was afraid of defying him when he was still taller than me and prone to violence. Thus, I did him a favor and played along with his game of pretend.

Aren't I so much more grown up than him?

Aren't I such a wonderfully mature young man, who wouldn't dare lose himself in dreams or fantasies?

That day, we ran around the garden until we were exhausted. In the end, we decided we needed a crown—so we scavenged around and fashioned a makeshift one from pinecones, acorns, vines, and other items.

A prince needs a crown to show his status, doesn't he?

I'm sure that foolish, dirty, pitiful little crown and the memories of that day still lie stowed away inside that tansu in my home, slowly rotting away. [2]

✱ ✱ ✱
"What's up, Suo~?"

As I've come to expect from him now, Leo-san leans his face exceptionally close to mine. He's never truly learned what "proper distance" means.

"You're spacing out... Sleepy? Or what?"

At a distance so close I could stick out my tongue and touch his face, the man I respect looks flustered.

His behavior is rather rude, but at the same time, fills me with pride.

Leo-san's hair is as coppery as sunset; his arms and legs wave up and down with seemingly boundless energy.

With him taking up so much of my view, I cannot see our surroundings too clearly, but...

...it's like a night sky filled with twinkling stars.

Against a backdrop of inky darkness, the stage lights and light sticks glowing from the audience shine and reflect off our richly decorated costumes in a sparkling, beautiful landscape. I feel I could go blind in this brilliance.

That must be why my vision is blurring right now. It cannot be that I am shedding tears of joy, surely. I am no child, after all.

"You're making a weird face... What is it, jetlag or something?"

Despite his tiny frame, Leo-san looks at me in worry like a doting elder brother.

"I feel kinda bad, but I can't exactly tell you to take it easy right now, even if you're not feeling too hot. You guys are heading back to Japan tomorrow, anyway."

Indeed, we are overseas right now. The season is late winter.

Knights is holding its coronation in the midst of the freezing cold... yet the heated fervor inside the venue is enough to make one sweat.

"So just... hang in there. Stand firm. It might be tough going, but don't let it defeat you."

Leo-san pets my head without a second thought, flashing a childlike grin.

"If you ever feel like you're gonna keel over, though, we'll come prop you up."

I'm fine. I do not require your support.

I've been well put-together since childhood—not to mention, I've grown stronger and more prudent since then. I would never deign to disgrace myself during my all-important, once-in-a-lifetime coronation.

"Hey, even the strongest of us can break. I'm proof of that."

Leo-san looks into the distance, as if lost in memories and emotions.

"So, if you're really feeling like you can't take it anymore, then I don't care if it's Sena, Rittsu, Naru, or any of the fans here—no matter who complains, I'll be on your side."

He passes a glance at our comrades still singing onstage and lowers his voice as if hatching a secret, sinister scheme.

"You're the priority, okay? I'll let you run to a safe place."

As I've already said—I'm fine.

However... perhaps the surging emotions have put me in a trance, as I found myself recalling bits and pieces from my childhood. That would be why I appeared to be spacing out.

"Childhood, huh? I bet even baby Suo~ was just as Suo~ as you are now, huh?"

Indeed, I am a descendant of the Suou bloodline. Both then and now, I have never been anything other than a Suou.

I imagine that as a child, you were also just as "Leo-san" as you are now?

"Oh, nah, I was way more of a stupid little squirt than I am now! Wahaha ☆"

Leo-san looks rather pleased. I had not meant to compliment him, though.

"I bet you woulda hated me if we met as kids, Suo~. I know you don't like stupid children."

Indeed, I do not. Children with neither sense nor elegance are no better than animals.

Judgmental as I am, though, I was once a stupid child, myself.

Those memories have come back to me... as I lay my eyes upon the crown before me.

"Oh yeah, it's pretty snazzy for a crown we made on the fly for the coronation, huh? Dunno exactly what Sena and Rittsu and Naru did, but they made it look really good. Guess they like this kinda crafty stuff."

As he says this, Leo-san raises the opulent crown, delicately decorated with gold and silver.

This all-too-troublesome "King" will soon pass on both this crown and his throne to me.

This is my coronation—a ritual we must perform so that Knights may take our first step into a new era.

"If this is your wish—then take it."

I can sense the weight of the crown as Leo-san lifts it and brings it closer to my head.

"It might feel heavy now, but I'm sure you'll get used to it. You can just toss it out if it's getting in your way, though, okay? Your feelings and health are more important."

No need. I shall gladly accept this crown.

I cannot fight the urge to laugh a bit, though. This is so very dramatic.

"I'm with you on that. Who was the wise guy who wanted to have a whole coronation in Florence, anyway?"

That would be me. Everything is as I had wished for.

Certainly, this whole process could have proceeded smoothly with just a few simple signatures on paper.

But do you not think that, at times, this wearisome reality could do with a dose of added sugar—with a little sprinkling of fantasy, a dollop of dreams, and a dash of playfulness?

"Whoa, didn't expect to hear that from you, Suo~, when you're always so serious! You sure you're feeling alright? Do I need to call an ambulance?"

His expression is filled with genuine concern. How irritating.

Still, he is nowhere near as boorish as I once was.


Do you see me now, Tori-kun?

Are you watching, my old friend, with whom I once shared my time rolling about in the mud?

I truly am sorry for laughing at you that day.


Now that I have accepted "this" myself... it really isn't such a terrible thing ♪

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[1] The middle section of this piece has Tsukasa changing his personal pronoun from 僕 (boku), the one he used in the past, to 私 (watashi), his current one. ↑

[2] A tansu is a Japanese-style chest of drawers. I'm like 90% sure this is the same tansu mentioned in Requiem and Sudden Death. ↑