Monochrome Checkmate - Epilogue 2
Mar. 8th, 2024 10:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shivalriesSeason: Spring
CW: Graphic imagery
---
Location: Garden Terrace
Izumi: And well, he wasn't entirely wrong. Those Chess guys who were supposed to be his friends and allies only ever wanted his music.
I mean, it's obvious why. It's not like he has any skills other than composing.
What they were after was "the genius Leo Tsukinaga"—they were only interested in his ability to make the strongest weapons around.
He was probably fine with that at first, since they were acknowledging him.
But he was just an ordinary boy on the inside, and before long, all the ways they snubbed him started to weigh down on him, making it harder and harder to breathe... until he ruptured into a bloody pulp.
His weakness played into that, of course. Your schemes were part of it too, and we can also blame the times we were in. But in the end, it's really all my fault.
It might've been a name we came up with on the fly, but we did call ourselves "Knights"—and yet, unlike the knight I was supposed to be, I couldn't protect him at all.
I was too proud and too embarrassed to ever voice my true feelings.
He repeated "I love you" so many times, but I always retorted that I didn't like him, or that we weren't even friends.
He's just an idiot, so he probably took all that at face value.
He cut everything else off and endured hatred from all sides all to protect me... to protect my dream, and I just...
I didn't even thank him. I only ever chewed him out endlessly... I didn't even notice until everything ended up shattered to pieces.
But even if I've realized it now, it's too late for regrets. He was never rewarded for all he did, and now he's stuck fast in place, unable to move on...
Everything he ever loved spat on him and rejected him.
And you can't blame him—nobody could handle that. It's not that he was especially weak.
No matter whether they're seen as a genius or a monster, no human can live without being loved.
Tenshouin—sometimes this one thought crosses my mind, and I'm sure it does for you, too...
Sometimes I wish time could've stopped in those moments of happiness, and that I didn't think to wish for more.
I wish I'd been fine remaining in obscurity, indifferent to approval. I wish Knights could've stayed as it was, just the two of us...
Spending our days joking around, talking about nothing, and just living out an ordinary time of youth.
Then everything would've stayed peaceful, and nothing would have had to break, and... he might be still smiling by my side today. I might've been a hundred times happier that way.
But the hands of the clock will never turn back. We had ambitions, pushed forward with dreams of the future, stained ourselves in bloody battle, and now here we are.
We can't turn back time, and there's no room for regret.
And that's why there's nothing to negotiate, just like I told you at the start.
As you requested, we'll do whatever you want us to do in DDD. We'll join your unified front to crush Trickstar in their advance.
With one condition: Yuu-kun will be in my care. This time, I will protect him, and I won't let anyone snatch him away.
Even if he starts to hate or even despise me... I'll protect him from all corruption.
Eichi: Fine by me. I intended to ask you to do that either way.
I do want to divide Trickstar, but I don't think it's a good solution to simply transfer all of them to fine.
Having you take one under your wing would be very convenient. Be sure to treat him with care—eggs are very fragile.
...Sena-kun. I do have some similar thoughts at times.
I wonder if I should have stayed in that hospital bed and satiated myself sharing idle chatter with the occasional visiting friend.
Perhaps I would have been happier that way...
Yet, I dared to dream. I took up the sword and marched to the battlefield, where I drenched myself in blood. I cannot hope to return to the peace I once had.
In speaking with you, I've finally understood why my chess games with Tsukinaga-kun never had conclusions...
For when the game ended, so too would our fun together.
Ending the game would create a hierarchy of winner and loser. One that would drive a wedge between two otherwise equal friends.
Like an excited little child, he had simply wanted to play together for as long as we could...
And yet, what I sought was victory. I wanted to see all those living in health beneath the sun bend the knee in submission.
All the while, I cursed at my own sullen, spineless, selfish, sickly self...
I wanted to laugh at and mock the subjects of my envy as they crawl at my feet—all to finally find my self-respect, the meaning to my life.
I've achieved that aim, for the most part. There is no point in picking up and idly gazing at that which I had once willingly sacrificed.
...Looking back now, Tsukinaga-kun is like a failed version of me—a me who could not attain the crown, nor its authority.
He was too kind and too pure, too loving of his fellow man...
He could not dispose of his humanity, nor could he become an unfeeling king or a heartless monster—he is but a weak and foolish human.
---
< Epilogue 1 || Masterlist || Epilogue 3 >
CW: Graphic imagery
---
Location: Garden Terrace
Izumi: And well, he wasn't entirely wrong. Those Chess guys who were supposed to be his friends and allies only ever wanted his music.
I mean, it's obvious why. It's not like he has any skills other than composing.
What they were after was "the genius Leo Tsukinaga"—they were only interested in his ability to make the strongest weapons around.
He was probably fine with that at first, since they were acknowledging him.
But he was just an ordinary boy on the inside, and before long, all the ways they snubbed him started to weigh down on him, making it harder and harder to breathe... until he ruptured into a bloody pulp.
His weakness played into that, of course. Your schemes were part of it too, and we can also blame the times we were in. But in the end, it's really all my fault.
It might've been a name we came up with on the fly, but we did call ourselves "Knights"—and yet, unlike the knight I was supposed to be, I couldn't protect him at all.
I was too proud and too embarrassed to ever voice my true feelings.
He repeated "I love you" so many times, but I always retorted that I didn't like him, or that we weren't even friends.
He's just an idiot, so he probably took all that at face value.
He cut everything else off and endured hatred from all sides all to protect me... to protect my dream, and I just...
I didn't even thank him. I only ever chewed him out endlessly... I didn't even notice until everything ended up shattered to pieces.
But even if I've realized it now, it's too late for regrets. He was never rewarded for all he did, and now he's stuck fast in place, unable to move on...
Everything he ever loved spat on him and rejected him.
And you can't blame him—nobody could handle that. It's not that he was especially weak.
No matter whether they're seen as a genius or a monster, no human can live without being loved.
Tenshouin—sometimes this one thought crosses my mind, and I'm sure it does for you, too...
Sometimes I wish time could've stopped in those moments of happiness, and that I didn't think to wish for more.
I wish I'd been fine remaining in obscurity, indifferent to approval. I wish Knights could've stayed as it was, just the two of us...
Spending our days joking around, talking about nothing, and just living out an ordinary time of youth.
Then everything would've stayed peaceful, and nothing would have had to break, and... he might be still smiling by my side today. I might've been a hundred times happier that way.
But the hands of the clock will never turn back. We had ambitions, pushed forward with dreams of the future, stained ourselves in bloody battle, and now here we are.
We can't turn back time, and there's no room for regret.
And that's why there's nothing to negotiate, just like I told you at the start.
As you requested, we'll do whatever you want us to do in DDD. We'll join your unified front to crush Trickstar in their advance.
With one condition: Yuu-kun will be in my care. This time, I will protect him, and I won't let anyone snatch him away.
Even if he starts to hate or even despise me... I'll protect him from all corruption.
Eichi: Fine by me. I intended to ask you to do that either way.
I do want to divide Trickstar, but I don't think it's a good solution to simply transfer all of them to fine.
Having you take one under your wing would be very convenient. Be sure to treat him with care—eggs are very fragile.
...Sena-kun. I do have some similar thoughts at times.
I wonder if I should have stayed in that hospital bed and satiated myself sharing idle chatter with the occasional visiting friend.
Perhaps I would have been happier that way...
Yet, I dared to dream. I took up the sword and marched to the battlefield, where I drenched myself in blood. I cannot hope to return to the peace I once had.
In speaking with you, I've finally understood why my chess games with Tsukinaga-kun never had conclusions...
For when the game ended, so too would our fun together.
Ending the game would create a hierarchy of winner and loser. One that would drive a wedge between two otherwise equal friends.
Like an excited little child, he had simply wanted to play together for as long as we could...
And yet, what I sought was victory. I wanted to see all those living in health beneath the sun bend the knee in submission.
All the while, I cursed at my own sullen, spineless, selfish, sickly self...
I wanted to laugh at and mock the subjects of my envy as they crawl at my feet—all to finally find my self-respect, the meaning to my life.
I've achieved that aim, for the most part. There is no point in picking up and idly gazing at that which I had once willingly sacrificed.
...Looking back now, Tsukinaga-kun is like a failed version of me—a me who could not attain the crown, nor its authority.
He was too kind and too pure, too loving of his fellow man...
He could not dispose of his humanity, nor could he become an unfeeling king or a heartless monster—he is but a weak and foolish human.
---
< Epilogue 1 || Masterlist || Epilogue 3 >
