Teddy Bear - Trace of a Thread Chapter 5
Apr. 16th, 2018 09:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shivalriesSeason: Autumn
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[Archery Range (Autumn)]
Mika: Well, puttin’ that aside… Oshisan didn’t yell at me t’get out or anythin’.
To tell ya the truth, he’s actually been so nice lately it feels funny.
Oshisan’s kinda been weird, y’know, ever since “Halloween Party”… Tsumu-chan-senpai, you were in the same performance with us, so do ya know anythin’?
Tsumugi: Ahh… On that note, you’ve been saying that Mademoiselle hasn’t spoken much lately, right?
Perhaps his mental state is improving. It actually makes me feel relieved.
Mika: Yeah. I feel kinda sad Madonee hasn’t been talkin’ lately, but Oshisan seems pretty calm.
He’s real stable, and hasn’t been panicking at all.
But s’just that… he feels weird toward me… Maybe it’s ‘cause he can’t really talk t’Madonee, but he fusses over me way too much.
Like, he jus’ comes up and talks about nothin’ with me.
“The weather’s nice today, it feels good”… Or “there are flowers by the road, how pretty”… stuff like that.
And he tries t’get me to make outfits and stuff.
Even though he never let no one touch his own works before.
Like he’ll jus’ leave his half-done outfits t’me, sayin’ “You do the rest, Kagehira”…
And he comes an’ asks my opinion for outfit and stage design.
And even durin’ a performance, he puts me out in front an’ goes and retreats to the back.
W-What’s with all this? I’m super worried, y’know!
Oshisan’s bein’ so nice it’s scary! Did the doctor tell him he only had a few months t’live or somethin’…?!
Tsumugi: No, no, I actually think it was weirder before…
Shu-kun didn’t treat you like a human and was awful to you, wasn’t he?
Even though you tried so hard, Mika-kun… He never praised you or gave you even a glance, and only ever drenched you in verbal abuse, you know?
It was even kind of hard to watch.
Mika: Mnn… But Oshisan never said anythin’ that wasn’ true.
He gets mad ‘cause I’m all “awkward” an’ stuff… I can’t even follow orders right, since I’m just a failure.
I’m a failed work of a doll! Oshisan’s probably real sick of me by now! That’s why he jus’ smiles at me without pickin’ at everythin’ I do!
I-It even looks like Oshisan’s been tryin’ t’find a single apartment somewhere…
He’s gone contactin’ my mom an’ dad, tryin’ t’find somewhere I can live…
Oshisan probably wants t’throw me away!
I can’t look at him no more, so I’m plannin’ on goin’ away instead! And that’s why I’m lookin’ for stuff t’get so I can live alone…
Tsumugi: Mm… I think you’re seeing it as worse than it is, Mika-kun. You haven’t confirmed any of this with him yet, have you?
In not even half a year from now, us third years will graduate, so…
Don’t you think Shu-kun is trying to give you more experience by letting you handle things, rather than doing everything by himself?
And that might be why he’s asking you for your opinion, and even letting you take care of the outfits and stage to some extent, right?
That way, he can be sure you can do things on your own even after he graduates…
He seems to be looking beyond his graduation in trying to find a new place for you. Is that not right?
Depending on what he does after this, Shu-kun might have to move far away, after all.
Considering his interests, he might even be active overseas. In that case, he can’t go bringing you along too, right?
And even then, leaving you in his own house without him there might end up weighing on your conscience instead…
It’s still essentially someone else’s home, at least to you, Mika-kun.
So with that in mind, maybe he’s finding a single apartment for you so you can manage to live on your own?
He probably foresaw all that and is still trying to find a place for you to stay in.
Mika: Huh…. Who cares about me, I just want Oshisan to pursue his art, y’know?
‘S what I truly feel. Am I weird for that?
But yeah... Thanks to all o’ that pilin’ up, I’m just worryin’ and worryin’... I can’t even get food down lately, so I’ve been kinda woozy.
Tsumugi: Ahh, so that’s why you collapsed?
Mika: Well, yeah, for one. I’m not gettin’ enough sleep either, so I’ve been all distracted… and I went an’ ripped the fabric of the teddy bear Oshisan loves so much.
Look, here it is… I ran out right away with it an’ kept it in my bag all this time.
Tsumugi: Ohh. It’s pretty vintage, isn’t it? It’s all worn out.
Mika: Yeah. ‘S been like that pretty much the whole time. Seems like Oshisan got it from his grandpa when he was a lil’ kid.
I didn’t mean to, but…
When I was cleanin’ the house, I dusted it and it fell right off the shelf, an’ the cloth just ripped open, an arm even comin’ off.
It looks like it was made a real long time ago, so I guess it just fell apart?
N-No matter how nice Oshisan is right now, he ain’t ever gonna forgive me for this…
‘Course this bear is more important to Oshisan than me, a failure of a doll.
This is it fer me, I’m gonna get thrown away…
The thought of that was terrifyin’ and I didn’t know what on earth to do, so I ran outta the house and wandered around here n’ there.
Then at some point my strength gave out, an’ I got faint and fell over.
Nghh… I can’t face Oshisan. I can’t go back to his home no more. I can’t even look him in the eyes.
What I’m most scared of is...
What if.. Even if I ruined somethin’ real important to Oshisan… if he’s still nice t’someone like me, then what do I do?
That’s not the Oshisan I know! Don’ be nice, just yell at me!
What about the Oshisan who makes vengeful art, like he hates everyone and everything! That’s the Oshisan I like!
If Oshisan’s turned into someone I don’t know then… I… I… I really don’t have a clue what to do.
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< Trace of a Thread Chapter 4 || Masterlist || Trace of a Thread Chapter 6 >
---
[Archery Range (Autumn)]
Mika: Well, puttin’ that aside… Oshisan didn’t yell at me t’get out or anythin’.
To tell ya the truth, he’s actually been so nice lately it feels funny.
Oshisan’s kinda been weird, y’know, ever since “Halloween Party”… Tsumu-chan-senpai, you were in the same performance with us, so do ya know anythin’?
Tsumugi: Ahh… On that note, you’ve been saying that Mademoiselle hasn’t spoken much lately, right?
Perhaps his mental state is improving. It actually makes me feel relieved.
Mika: Yeah. I feel kinda sad Madonee hasn’t been talkin’ lately, but Oshisan seems pretty calm.
He’s real stable, and hasn’t been panicking at all.
But s’just that… he feels weird toward me… Maybe it’s ‘cause he can’t really talk t’Madonee, but he fusses over me way too much.
Like, he jus’ comes up and talks about nothin’ with me.
“The weather’s nice today, it feels good”… Or “there are flowers by the road, how pretty”… stuff like that.
And he tries t’get me to make outfits and stuff.
Even though he never let no one touch his own works before.
Like he’ll jus’ leave his half-done outfits t’me, sayin’ “You do the rest, Kagehira”…
And he comes an’ asks my opinion for outfit and stage design.
And even durin’ a performance, he puts me out in front an’ goes and retreats to the back.
W-What’s with all this? I’m super worried, y’know!
Oshisan’s bein’ so nice it’s scary! Did the doctor tell him he only had a few months t’live or somethin’…?!
Tsumugi: No, no, I actually think it was weirder before…
Shu-kun didn’t treat you like a human and was awful to you, wasn’t he?
Even though you tried so hard, Mika-kun… He never praised you or gave you even a glance, and only ever drenched you in verbal abuse, you know?
It was even kind of hard to watch.
Mika: Mnn… But Oshisan never said anythin’ that wasn’ true.
He gets mad ‘cause I’m all “awkward” an’ stuff… I can’t even follow orders right, since I’m just a failure.
I’m a failed work of a doll! Oshisan’s probably real sick of me by now! That’s why he jus’ smiles at me without pickin’ at everythin’ I do!
I-It even looks like Oshisan’s been tryin’ t’find a single apartment somewhere…
He’s gone contactin’ my mom an’ dad, tryin’ t’find somewhere I can live…
Oshisan probably wants t’throw me away!
I can’t look at him no more, so I’m plannin’ on goin’ away instead! And that’s why I’m lookin’ for stuff t’get so I can live alone…
Tsumugi: Mm… I think you’re seeing it as worse than it is, Mika-kun. You haven’t confirmed any of this with him yet, have you?
In not even half a year from now, us third years will graduate, so…
Don’t you think Shu-kun is trying to give you more experience by letting you handle things, rather than doing everything by himself?
And that might be why he’s asking you for your opinion, and even letting you take care of the outfits and stage to some extent, right?
That way, he can be sure you can do things on your own even after he graduates…
He seems to be looking beyond his graduation in trying to find a new place for you. Is that not right?
Depending on what he does after this, Shu-kun might have to move far away, after all.
Considering his interests, he might even be active overseas. In that case, he can’t go bringing you along too, right?
And even then, leaving you in his own house without him there might end up weighing on your conscience instead…
It’s still essentially someone else’s home, at least to you, Mika-kun.
So with that in mind, maybe he’s finding a single apartment for you so you can manage to live on your own?
He probably foresaw all that and is still trying to find a place for you to stay in.
Mika: Huh…. Who cares about me, I just want Oshisan to pursue his art, y’know?
‘S what I truly feel. Am I weird for that?
But yeah... Thanks to all o’ that pilin’ up, I’m just worryin’ and worryin’... I can’t even get food down lately, so I’ve been kinda woozy.
Tsumugi: Ahh, so that’s why you collapsed?
Mika: Well, yeah, for one. I’m not gettin’ enough sleep either, so I’ve been all distracted… and I went an’ ripped the fabric of the teddy bear Oshisan loves so much.
Look, here it is… I ran out right away with it an’ kept it in my bag all this time.
Tsumugi: Ohh. It’s pretty vintage, isn’t it? It’s all worn out.
Mika: Yeah. ‘S been like that pretty much the whole time. Seems like Oshisan got it from his grandpa when he was a lil’ kid.
I didn’t mean to, but…
When I was cleanin’ the house, I dusted it and it fell right off the shelf, an’ the cloth just ripped open, an arm even comin’ off.
It looks like it was made a real long time ago, so I guess it just fell apart?
N-No matter how nice Oshisan is right now, he ain’t ever gonna forgive me for this…
‘Course this bear is more important to Oshisan than me, a failure of a doll.
This is it fer me, I’m gonna get thrown away…
The thought of that was terrifyin’ and I didn’t know what on earth to do, so I ran outta the house and wandered around here n’ there.
Then at some point my strength gave out, an’ I got faint and fell over.
Nghh… I can’t face Oshisan. I can’t go back to his home no more. I can’t even look him in the eyes.
What I’m most scared of is...
What if.. Even if I ruined somethin’ real important to Oshisan… if he’s still nice t’someone like me, then what do I do?
That’s not the Oshisan I know! Don’ be nice, just yell at me!
What about the Oshisan who makes vengeful art, like he hates everyone and everything! That’s the Oshisan I like!
If Oshisan’s turned into someone I don’t know then… I… I… I really don’t have a clue what to do.
---
< Trace of a Thread Chapter 4 || Masterlist || Trace of a Thread Chapter 6 >
