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shivalriesSeason: Autumn, one year ago
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[Music Room]
(Autumn, one year ago)
Ritsu: ……
…Mm?
(Huh? Why am I... in the music room…? I thought Secchan took me by the hand to the nurse’s office when he noticed I wasn’t feeling too good?)
(Did I end up walking to my “nest” of a music room, while still half-asleep? Without even realizing it? Or maybe I was sleepwalking? Hmm...)
(If that’s the case, things might actually be pretty bad. It’d mean I don’t have control over my body… After all, this would be the first time it’s happened.)
(It’s hard to believe a lazy guy like me would try this hard to walk around.)
(But lately, I’ve been enjoying every day to its fullest, so much that I’m starting to feel like it’s a waste to sleep…)
(…? I can hear the sounds of an argument outside the room...)
(These voices are… Secchan? And Ousama…?)
(Come on, stop it. Don’t fight, I’m begging you. If you kick up a fuss right next to me, I can’t sleep in peace.)
(No, wait. This fight seems familiar.)
(And so does the feeling of this blanket around my shoulders as I slept slumped over the piano keys.)
(I seem to remember something about how when Anija was away overseas, he asked people to take care of me, thinking he was being considerate…)
(He had ordered those still loyal to him to look after me.)
(I was so mad when I found out about it later… If he cared about me so much, I wish he would’ve either taken care of me directly or, if he couldn’t do that, just stayed completely hands-off.)
(Being half-hearted about it like that just rubbed me the wrong way…)
(So I was really stubborn about cutting him off completely, but at the same time I was upset that I couldn’t get everything I wanted—)
(I was always stressed, always irritated… back then anyway.)
(Could this be a dream? A memory? Or maybe I’m lucid dreaming, since I’m seeing the past while still remaining conscious…?)
(Wah, my body’s moving on its own. Ah, right, this is what I did back then, huh.)
(I had fallen asleep but was woken up by the sound of voices, so I got up to see what was happening.)
(But in the end, I didn’t have the guts to step in, or even leave the music room, and all I could do was stand there.)
(If I’d worked up the courage to do something back then, would that have changed our future?)
(And would have those two remained close as family, all this time—)
[Hallway]
Izumi: …Oh? So I guess you really mean that, huh, Ousama?
I know you do. After hanging out with each other for all this time, I can at least figure out when you’re lying or telling the truth.
So you’re really saying that with such a straight face, to me of all people?
You’re saying the reason we lost so badly in our last performance... was all because of me…?
You really said, “It’s your fault for not being able to follow along with my songs”, Ousama?
Leo: ……
…You’ve stopped calling me “Leo-kun” too, huh.
Even you. But I guess compared to everyone else, you held out for a really long time. Of course you would, Sena, you’re more hardworking than anyone, and you’ve got more talent and ability than average.
But you couldn’t take it.
Izumi: ……
Leo: Not even you could manage! So what should I do now? What am I supposed to do? I don’t even know anymore, wahahahaha☆
Got any ideas, Sena? You’re smart, after all, and you always taught me important things!
So I’ll put some faith in you and just ask this one last question… why?
Why did things turn out like this? How did we, how did our youth... get like this…?
Izumi: …That’s exactly what we’re trying to figure out right now, right? Don’t run away from it, and stop blaming everything on others.
No, actually just stop making it sound like everything’s my fault.
I’m at the limits of my patience too, you know… I was responsible for making you this way, so I thought I’d accompany you until the end.
And yet, what did you just say to me? That it’s my fault? I gave it everything I had…! Because I liked you, and I liked your songs!
I worked so hard to make everyone else -- to make everyone in the whole world like them too! I sang with all my strength!
Even as everyone else who once called themselves our comrades got sick of it and left, I stayed and I sang!
But all you can ever think about is your next new song, Leo-kun! And what the hell are these songs lately?
They’re nothing but gloom and doom, clouded with bitterness and pain, and they’re clogged up with all these weird techniques - they’re so artistic and incomprehensible that they’re not fun to sing at all!
And of course they’re horrible to listen to too, you know? Now I’m the one who wants to ask how they got that way. Are you going to say that’s my fault too…?
---
< NIGHTMARE Chapter 3 || Masterlist || NIGHTMARE Chapter 5 >
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[Music Room]
(Autumn, one year ago)
Ritsu: ……
…Mm?
(Huh? Why am I... in the music room…? I thought Secchan took me by the hand to the nurse’s office when he noticed I wasn’t feeling too good?)
(Did I end up walking to my “nest” of a music room, while still half-asleep? Without even realizing it? Or maybe I was sleepwalking? Hmm...)
(If that’s the case, things might actually be pretty bad. It’d mean I don’t have control over my body… After all, this would be the first time it’s happened.)
(It’s hard to believe a lazy guy like me would try this hard to walk around.)
(But lately, I’ve been enjoying every day to its fullest, so much that I’m starting to feel like it’s a waste to sleep…)
(…? I can hear the sounds of an argument outside the room...)
(These voices are… Secchan? And Ousama…?)
(Come on, stop it. Don’t fight, I’m begging you. If you kick up a fuss right next to me, I can’t sleep in peace.)
(No, wait. This fight seems familiar.)
(And so does the feeling of this blanket around my shoulders as I slept slumped over the piano keys.)
(I seem to remember something about how when Anija was away overseas, he asked people to take care of me, thinking he was being considerate…)
(He had ordered those still loyal to him to look after me.)
(I was so mad when I found out about it later… If he cared about me so much, I wish he would’ve either taken care of me directly or, if he couldn’t do that, just stayed completely hands-off.)
(Being half-hearted about it like that just rubbed me the wrong way…)
(So I was really stubborn about cutting him off completely, but at the same time I was upset that I couldn’t get everything I wanted—)
(I was always stressed, always irritated… back then anyway.)
(Could this be a dream? A memory? Or maybe I’m lucid dreaming, since I’m seeing the past while still remaining conscious…?)
(Wah, my body’s moving on its own. Ah, right, this is what I did back then, huh.)
(I had fallen asleep but was woken up by the sound of voices, so I got up to see what was happening.)
(But in the end, I didn’t have the guts to step in, or even leave the music room, and all I could do was stand there.)
(If I’d worked up the courage to do something back then, would that have changed our future?)
(And would have those two remained close as family, all this time—)
[Hallway]
Izumi: …Oh? So I guess you really mean that, huh, Ousama?
I know you do. After hanging out with each other for all this time, I can at least figure out when you’re lying or telling the truth.
So you’re really saying that with such a straight face, to me of all people?
You’re saying the reason we lost so badly in our last performance... was all because of me…?
You really said, “It’s your fault for not being able to follow along with my songs”, Ousama?
Leo: ……
…You’ve stopped calling me “Leo-kun” too, huh.
Even you. But I guess compared to everyone else, you held out for a really long time. Of course you would, Sena, you’re more hardworking than anyone, and you’ve got more talent and ability than average.
But you couldn’t take it.
Izumi: ……
Leo: Not even you could manage! So what should I do now? What am I supposed to do? I don’t even know anymore, wahahahaha☆
Got any ideas, Sena? You’re smart, after all, and you always taught me important things!
So I’ll put some faith in you and just ask this one last question… why?
Why did things turn out like this? How did we, how did our youth... get like this…?
Izumi: …That’s exactly what we’re trying to figure out right now, right? Don’t run away from it, and stop blaming everything on others.
No, actually just stop making it sound like everything’s my fault.
I’m at the limits of my patience too, you know… I was responsible for making you this way, so I thought I’d accompany you until the end.
And yet, what did you just say to me? That it’s my fault? I gave it everything I had…! Because I liked you, and I liked your songs!
I worked so hard to make everyone else -- to make everyone in the whole world like them too! I sang with all my strength!
Even as everyone else who once called themselves our comrades got sick of it and left, I stayed and I sang!
But all you can ever think about is your next new song, Leo-kun! And what the hell are these songs lately?
They’re nothing but gloom and doom, clouded with bitterness and pain, and they’re clogged up with all these weird techniques - they’re so artistic and incomprehensible that they’re not fun to sing at all!
And of course they’re horrible to listen to too, you know? Now I’m the one who wants to ask how they got that way. Are you going to say that’s my fault too…?
---
< NIGHTMARE Chapter 3 || Masterlist || NIGHTMARE Chapter 5 >
