Requiem - Lux aeterna Chapter 28
Jul. 24th, 2020 09:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shivalriesSeason: Winter
---
[Repayment Festival Stage]
Tsukasa: Leo-san. Do you have any objections to anything I've said?
Should you have any complaint, then by all means—say it! No need to hold back!
Leo: ...Of course I don't have any.
Why would I? Papa's so proud that his son's grown into a fine man!
Tsukasa: You are not my father, nor my brother.
But that's what you wanted to become for me, right? Just like family, or perhaps even beyond that—someone who will love and be loved?
Leo: ...You sure like deciding things on your own, don't you?
Tsukasa: I certainly do. That's just how I am, as I'm sure you're aware.
Narukami-senpai, Ritsu-senpai... It appears you've both realized the same thing that I have. Yet Sena-senpai alone remains bewildered for some reason.
Sena-senpai, you're the one hurting this person the most. Reflect and repent for your actions, lest I use force.
It is a knight's duty to brandish their sword and protect their comrades.
It is also the responsibility of our sovereign, the King.
Izumi: Uh... Wait, what? W-Why am I being targeted all of a sudden? What's going on?!
Arashi: You still don't get it, Izumi-chan? Well then, don't you try to lecture me from your high horse ever again, okay?
Ritsu: Yeah. It's the worst when some clueless moron complains at you like he knows everything.
I've been doing all this self-reflection... just so you would follow suit.
Honestly, I should've stepped in sooner instead of acting like a bystander.
I was so far away that I didn't see it, y'know? I could hear the words, but I didn't understand them.
Hey Ousama—if I can still call you that. Su~chan's taken your position now, but I don't have enough time to think of another nickname.
Leo: Well, why not just use my name? Both Leo-kun or Leo-san work just fine~ Just don't call me "senpai"! It feels weird 'cause we're the same age!
Ritsu: Alright. Then, Leo Tsukinaga-kun... I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I didn't believe in you.
Leo: ......
Arashi: I'm sorry, too. I always acted like I was so smart, but I was missing something important...
I can see why you called me a people-pleaser.
Tsukasa: Fufu. Splendidly done, my seniors. It seems you've all reached the same conclusion that I have.
Izumi: ...? ...?
Tsukasa: Leo... Tsukinaga-san. I am simply asking to confirm, so please don't take this the wrong way, but... in truth, you never had any intention of quitting idol work, did you?
If you had truly wished to quit, Requiem wouldn't have turned out like this.
Looking back, all those provocations goaded us into using all of our strength.
This heated battle forced us to grow, and we were reborn into something incredibly powerful.
If that had never happened, if we had failed Requiem... If all of us had been disqualified...
Perhaps then you might've wanted to quit and disband Knights on the spot.
That would mean your belief in us had been for nothing...
You love being an idol and don't want to quit, but it would've been beyond hope at that point. Such a weak group like that would collapse sooner or later.
If some random person would've killed us off in the future regardless, then why not put an end to it with your own two hands, with all your love? ...That's what you had in mind, right? [1]
Leo: ......
Tsukasa: You love composing. You have a natural talent for it.
But that doesn't automatically prove that you hate being an idol. It simply doesn't add up.
Love has no hierarchy; none of us are bound to loving one thing, and one thing alone.
Just as I love both my family and idol work, loving something would never mean your love for everything else is false.
All of that is genuine love. It is precious, it is valuable, and no matter what sort of love it is, it is never fake.
If someone were to decide that they can love only a single thing, or that only one kind of love is true and the rest don't count...
Then they would never be able to escape criticism for their own base ignorance, would they?
It would make them no more than a spiteful fool who fails to understand not only love, but also humans themselves.
The opposite of love is indifference. If you truly have no interest in being an idol and never cared about it from the start...
Then why did you enter the idol course?
Leo: ...I did love it back then, but after all the sadness that happened, I started to hate it. Or you could even think of it as losing interest?
Tsukasa: No. As far as I know, you've always looked ecstatic to be standing onstage.
You would positively shine with joy... I don't think your smile was ever forced, nor that I'd simply misread your expression.
It's clear that your love for idols runs deep and strong.
So then, do you have any reason to quit? None at all, right?
Is it because everything around you will change after graduation, so you won't be able to continue? Or perhaps there's something in your future plans that would force you to quit?
Even though I, currently inferior to you in so many ways, can take on both of those problems while continuing my idol work, if I so wish it?
Don't tell me our mighty king cannot even do something so simple?
If you really believe it to be so, then I feel nothing but contempt for you. What's so "genius" about that? You'd be lower than the lowest nobody.
Leo: ...You sure know how to talk, you brat.
Wahaha. This is kinda fun~! I feel like a criminal getting backed into a corner by an ace detective.
Tsukasa: No, you're supposed to say you're a villain being cornered by his knights.
Well, you've actually done nothing wrong. We're the ones who've done you wrong.
We didn't fully trust you... or ourselves.
So we, and especially Sena-senpai, persistently questioned you... We asked if you truly intended to continue idol work, if you were going to quit...
Almost as if we wanted you to quit.
Of course, it's only natural we would ask. It's a reasonable concern.
You were always so engrossed in your composing, and you would never get up onstage without us giving you an earful first.
And whenever you did, it always seemed to bother you. You'd grumble and groan so much about it.
Then when it was all over, you'd look so relieved—every time you opened your mouth you'd just go on about how you were half-retired already.
It's no wonder we suspected you wanted to quit, right?
Leo: ......
Tsukasa: But you've changed. As the ones by your side all this time, we were supposed to notice this instinctually.
Bit by bit, you began to warm up once more to the concept of idols.
As though a flame rekindled in your heart—the flame of those warm feelings you had before you even stepped through the gates of Yumenosaki for the first time.
And now, with graduation before your eyes, the choice of quitting idol work has completely disappeared for you. ...Am I wrong?
Leo: ......
---
[1] "With all your love" uses the same Japanese phrasing as "with all our love"/ai wo komete from Grateful Allegiance.
---
< Lux aeterna Chapter 27 || Masterlist || Lux aeterna Chapter 29 >
---
[Repayment Festival Stage]
Tsukasa: Leo-san. Do you have any objections to anything I've said?
Should you have any complaint, then by all means—say it! No need to hold back!
Leo: ...Of course I don't have any.
Why would I? Papa's so proud that his son's grown into a fine man!
Tsukasa: You are not my father, nor my brother.
But that's what you wanted to become for me, right? Just like family, or perhaps even beyond that—someone who will love and be loved?
Leo: ...You sure like deciding things on your own, don't you?
Tsukasa: I certainly do. That's just how I am, as I'm sure you're aware.
Narukami-senpai, Ritsu-senpai... It appears you've both realized the same thing that I have. Yet Sena-senpai alone remains bewildered for some reason.
Sena-senpai, you're the one hurting this person the most. Reflect and repent for your actions, lest I use force.
It is a knight's duty to brandish their sword and protect their comrades.
It is also the responsibility of our sovereign, the King.
Izumi: Uh... Wait, what? W-Why am I being targeted all of a sudden? What's going on?!
Arashi: You still don't get it, Izumi-chan? Well then, don't you try to lecture me from your high horse ever again, okay?
Ritsu: Yeah. It's the worst when some clueless moron complains at you like he knows everything.
I've been doing all this self-reflection... just so you would follow suit.
Honestly, I should've stepped in sooner instead of acting like a bystander.
I was so far away that I didn't see it, y'know? I could hear the words, but I didn't understand them.
Hey Ousama—if I can still call you that. Su~chan's taken your position now, but I don't have enough time to think of another nickname.
Leo: Well, why not just use my name? Both Leo-kun or Leo-san work just fine~ Just don't call me "senpai"! It feels weird 'cause we're the same age!
Ritsu: Alright. Then, Leo Tsukinaga-kun... I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I didn't believe in you.
Leo: ......
Arashi: I'm sorry, too. I always acted like I was so smart, but I was missing something important...
I can see why you called me a people-pleaser.
Tsukasa: Fufu. Splendidly done, my seniors. It seems you've all reached the same conclusion that I have.
Izumi: ...? ...?
Tsukasa: Leo... Tsukinaga-san. I am simply asking to confirm, so please don't take this the wrong way, but... in truth, you never had any intention of quitting idol work, did you?
If you had truly wished to quit, Requiem wouldn't have turned out like this.
Looking back, all those provocations goaded us into using all of our strength.
This heated battle forced us to grow, and we were reborn into something incredibly powerful.
If that had never happened, if we had failed Requiem... If all of us had been disqualified...
Perhaps then you might've wanted to quit and disband Knights on the spot.
That would mean your belief in us had been for nothing...
You love being an idol and don't want to quit, but it would've been beyond hope at that point. Such a weak group like that would collapse sooner or later.
If some random person would've killed us off in the future regardless, then why not put an end to it with your own two hands, with all your love? ...That's what you had in mind, right? [1]
Leo: ......
Tsukasa: You love composing. You have a natural talent for it.
But that doesn't automatically prove that you hate being an idol. It simply doesn't add up.
Love has no hierarchy; none of us are bound to loving one thing, and one thing alone.
Just as I love both my family and idol work, loving something would never mean your love for everything else is false.
All of that is genuine love. It is precious, it is valuable, and no matter what sort of love it is, it is never fake.
If someone were to decide that they can love only a single thing, or that only one kind of love is true and the rest don't count...
Then they would never be able to escape criticism for their own base ignorance, would they?
It would make them no more than a spiteful fool who fails to understand not only love, but also humans themselves.
The opposite of love is indifference. If you truly have no interest in being an idol and never cared about it from the start...
Then why did you enter the idol course?
Leo: ...I did love it back then, but after all the sadness that happened, I started to hate it. Or you could even think of it as losing interest?
Tsukasa: No. As far as I know, you've always looked ecstatic to be standing onstage.
You would positively shine with joy... I don't think your smile was ever forced, nor that I'd simply misread your expression.
It's clear that your love for idols runs deep and strong.
So then, do you have any reason to quit? None at all, right?
Is it because everything around you will change after graduation, so you won't be able to continue? Or perhaps there's something in your future plans that would force you to quit?
Even though I, currently inferior to you in so many ways, can take on both of those problems while continuing my idol work, if I so wish it?
Don't tell me our mighty king cannot even do something so simple?
If you really believe it to be so, then I feel nothing but contempt for you. What's so "genius" about that? You'd be lower than the lowest nobody.
Leo: ...You sure know how to talk, you brat.
Wahaha. This is kinda fun~! I feel like a criminal getting backed into a corner by an ace detective.
Tsukasa: No, you're supposed to say you're a villain being cornered by his knights.
Well, you've actually done nothing wrong. We're the ones who've done you wrong.
We didn't fully trust you... or ourselves.
So we, and especially Sena-senpai, persistently questioned you... We asked if you truly intended to continue idol work, if you were going to quit...
Almost as if we wanted you to quit.
Of course, it's only natural we would ask. It's a reasonable concern.
You were always so engrossed in your composing, and you would never get up onstage without us giving you an earful first.
And whenever you did, it always seemed to bother you. You'd grumble and groan so much about it.
Then when it was all over, you'd look so relieved—every time you opened your mouth you'd just go on about how you were half-retired already.
It's no wonder we suspected you wanted to quit, right?
Leo: ......
Tsukasa: But you've changed. As the ones by your side all this time, we were supposed to notice this instinctually.
Bit by bit, you began to warm up once more to the concept of idols.
As though a flame rekindled in your heart—the flame of those warm feelings you had before you even stepped through the gates of Yumenosaki for the first time.
And now, with graduation before your eyes, the choice of quitting idol work has completely disappeared for you. ...Am I wrong?
Leo: ......
---
[1] "With all your love" uses the same Japanese phrasing as "with all our love"/ai wo komete from Grateful Allegiance.
---
< Lux aeterna Chapter 27 || Masterlist || Lux aeterna Chapter 29 >
