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shivalriesSeason: Autumn
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[Cafe Cinnamon]
Tsukasa: ......
(...It tastes like nothing. It's as if I'm chewing sand. Having a taste of my favorite desserts from this cafe is usually enough to fill me with bliss and restore my energy.)
(That has always been my routine, in order to give myself the courage to fight through anything undaunted.)
Leo: Suo~! Hey, what's with the long face? Got cavities or something? Eat all the sweets you want, but you gotta brush your teeth properly!
Tsukasa: What brings you here all of a sudden? ...You are going to get your clothes dirty crawling on the floor like that. It's terrible manners.
Leo: Huh? You noticed me approaching? You looked so deep in thought, I thought you'd scream if I suddenly called out to you!
Tsukasa: You're quite easy to spot. Besides, you give off the same scent as Sena-senpai right now...
I thought he'd come to lob nasty words at me again, so I put my guard up on instinct.
Leo: Wahaha. We've been living together these days, after all. 'Course we'd smell like each other.
Well, I guess it's more like he keeps forcing me to use perfume and cleansers and all that crap, so his scent's just rubbed off on me.
Tsukasa: Hmm. Like an animal marking its territory, I see.
Leo: Yeah, well, you're pretty animalistic yourself, picking up on people's scents like that. You and Sena really are alike. ♪
Tsukasa: Pardon me?! There is no greater disgrace!
Leo: Come on, it's a compliment. ...Eh, doesn't matter that much. I'm gonna sit here if you don't mind.
Tsukasa: *sigh*... Do as you wish. It seems I've ordered far too many sweets, anyway, so I wouldn't mind if you had some.
Leo: Cool, thanks~ These days Sena makes sure to feed me regularly, so when I'm acting alone I tend to forget to eat. Man, I'm hungry.
Tsukasa: Why are you so incapable of taking care of yourself?
...I certainly have a lot of opinions about Sena-senpai abducting you, but...
Perhaps it was the "correct" decision to some extent, based solely on the fact that I no longer have to worry about your lifestyle.
Leo: Wahaha. "Abducting"? Why do you all keep making Sena the bad guy here?
I guess I used to be the same! "It's all Sena's fault!"
—But, you know... My case aside, the one guilty of complicating the war this time around is Naru.
If Naru didn't start to revolt too, then it woulda looked like Sena was the only one complaining, like always.
Looks like Sena anticipated that, so he defaulted to playing the bad guy all by himself.
But now, thanks to Naru butting in, Knights ended up in our current state of conflict with two against two.
So this time, Sena's not the only one who's giving us trouble. It's Naru, too.
Tsukasa: Narukami-senpai...?
It's true that that sudden rebellion at the round table left me greatly perplexed.
I never in my life imagined things would turn out like that. To be honest... it was quite the shock.
Narukami-senpai is always so kind and considerate—someone I believed would always be on my side.
But I suppose that was arrogant of me... In reality, I ended up relying on my seniors before I even realized it.
I am ashamed that Sena-senpai had to point it out for me to understand what was happening.
I'm always insisting that I be treated like an adult, and yet I'm only acting like a spoiled little child—
It was only by everyone's kindness that I was able to act as I pleased, yet I was so conceited as to believe it all came about of my own power—
Leo: Hey, don't blame yourself so much. You didn't do anything wrong.
Tsukasa: Look, there you are again, spoiling me!
Leo: I'm not spoiling you, come on. What's wrong with a little spoiling anyway? Doesn't that just mean I love you?
Sena just can't get anyone to love him—or rather, he won't honestly accept the love he's given, so of course he'll think it's a bad thing.
It's all "sour grapes" to him! Wahaha! [1]
Tsukasa: Would it bother you to speak in a more logical manner? You are so incomprehensible, every single time!
...And I want to comprehend you. I never know what my seniors are thinking.
It's so frustrating. While you all usually exhibit such disappointing behavior, you are also leagues ahead of me as idols...
I end up believing that my seniors are correct, and that I am wrong.
It's left me quite disheartened. I feel like a young child who ran out into the street and ended up in an accident.
Leo: Hey, chin up. Don't get depressed, okay? If you suddenly realize you're a naked king, then you just gotta put on some clothes and pretend nothing happened.
Don't let other people see you criticizing yourself or getting depressed over your worries.
The King is the foundation and pillar that holds up his kingdom. If he starts to waver, then that gets everyone else anxious too.
That's what I always told myself when I was King.
In reality, I hadn't performed in so long, I was down in the dumps and terrified of going onstage, but I stood firm so that nobody could tell.
Tsukasa: ......
Leo: Then I just wahaha'd and boasted my way through! I tried my best to act like a King!
That's what everyone wanted from me, after all. Anyone would be happy seeing their wishes granted, right? And I wanted to make the people I love smile.
That's all there was to it. In the end, I couldn't do my duty, like thinking of our futures or working on managing the unit like you can.
That's why I probably wasn't a good fit for the King, and it's also why I think you're doing great.
Tsukasa: ......
Leo: Nah... Actually, I've started to think that I managed to push through all the pain because I wanted to pass the crown on to you.
I feel like all my efforts were rewarded. And even now, I don't think I was ever mistaken about the emotions I felt back then.
Tsukasa: ...You think too highly of me, Leo-san.
Leo: I don't think of you highly enough.
---
[1] Reference to the fable "The Fox and the Grapes".
---
< Until the Morning Light Chapter 1 || Masterlist || Until the Morning Light Chapter 3 >
---
[Cafe Cinnamon]
Tsukasa: ......
(...It tastes like nothing. It's as if I'm chewing sand. Having a taste of my favorite desserts from this cafe is usually enough to fill me with bliss and restore my energy.)
(That has always been my routine, in order to give myself the courage to fight through anything undaunted.)
Leo: Suo~! Hey, what's with the long face? Got cavities or something? Eat all the sweets you want, but you gotta brush your teeth properly!
Tsukasa: What brings you here all of a sudden? ...You are going to get your clothes dirty crawling on the floor like that. It's terrible manners.
Leo: Huh? You noticed me approaching? You looked so deep in thought, I thought you'd scream if I suddenly called out to you!
Tsukasa: You're quite easy to spot. Besides, you give off the same scent as Sena-senpai right now...
I thought he'd come to lob nasty words at me again, so I put my guard up on instinct.
Leo: Wahaha. We've been living together these days, after all. 'Course we'd smell like each other.
Well, I guess it's more like he keeps forcing me to use perfume and cleansers and all that crap, so his scent's just rubbed off on me.
Tsukasa: Hmm. Like an animal marking its territory, I see.
Leo: Yeah, well, you're pretty animalistic yourself, picking up on people's scents like that. You and Sena really are alike. ♪
Tsukasa: Pardon me?! There is no greater disgrace!
Leo: Come on, it's a compliment. ...Eh, doesn't matter that much. I'm gonna sit here if you don't mind.
Tsukasa: *sigh*... Do as you wish. It seems I've ordered far too many sweets, anyway, so I wouldn't mind if you had some.
Leo: Cool, thanks~ These days Sena makes sure to feed me regularly, so when I'm acting alone I tend to forget to eat. Man, I'm hungry.
Tsukasa: Why are you so incapable of taking care of yourself?
...I certainly have a lot of opinions about Sena-senpai abducting you, but...
Perhaps it was the "correct" decision to some extent, based solely on the fact that I no longer have to worry about your lifestyle.
Leo: Wahaha. "Abducting"? Why do you all keep making Sena the bad guy here?
I guess I used to be the same! "It's all Sena's fault!"
—But, you know... My case aside, the one guilty of complicating the war this time around is Naru.
If Naru didn't start to revolt too, then it woulda looked like Sena was the only one complaining, like always.
Looks like Sena anticipated that, so he defaulted to playing the bad guy all by himself.
But now, thanks to Naru butting in, Knights ended up in our current state of conflict with two against two.
So this time, Sena's not the only one who's giving us trouble. It's Naru, too.
Tsukasa: Narukami-senpai...?
It's true that that sudden rebellion at the round table left me greatly perplexed.
I never in my life imagined things would turn out like that. To be honest... it was quite the shock.
Narukami-senpai is always so kind and considerate—someone I believed would always be on my side.
But I suppose that was arrogant of me... In reality, I ended up relying on my seniors before I even realized it.
I am ashamed that Sena-senpai had to point it out for me to understand what was happening.
I'm always insisting that I be treated like an adult, and yet I'm only acting like a spoiled little child—
It was only by everyone's kindness that I was able to act as I pleased, yet I was so conceited as to believe it all came about of my own power—
Leo: Hey, don't blame yourself so much. You didn't do anything wrong.
Tsukasa: Look, there you are again, spoiling me!
Leo: I'm not spoiling you, come on. What's wrong with a little spoiling anyway? Doesn't that just mean I love you?
Sena just can't get anyone to love him—or rather, he won't honestly accept the love he's given, so of course he'll think it's a bad thing.
It's all "sour grapes" to him! Wahaha! [1]
Tsukasa: Would it bother you to speak in a more logical manner? You are so incomprehensible, every single time!
...And I want to comprehend you. I never know what my seniors are thinking.
It's so frustrating. While you all usually exhibit such disappointing behavior, you are also leagues ahead of me as idols...
I end up believing that my seniors are correct, and that I am wrong.
It's left me quite disheartened. I feel like a young child who ran out into the street and ended up in an accident.
Leo: Hey, chin up. Don't get depressed, okay? If you suddenly realize you're a naked king, then you just gotta put on some clothes and pretend nothing happened.
Don't let other people see you criticizing yourself or getting depressed over your worries.
The King is the foundation and pillar that holds up his kingdom. If he starts to waver, then that gets everyone else anxious too.
That's what I always told myself when I was King.
In reality, I hadn't performed in so long, I was down in the dumps and terrified of going onstage, but I stood firm so that nobody could tell.
Tsukasa: ......
Leo: Then I just wahaha'd and boasted my way through! I tried my best to act like a King!
That's what everyone wanted from me, after all. Anyone would be happy seeing their wishes granted, right? And I wanted to make the people I love smile.
That's all there was to it. In the end, I couldn't do my duty, like thinking of our futures or working on managing the unit like you can.
That's why I probably wasn't a good fit for the King, and it's also why I think you're doing great.
Tsukasa: ......
Leo: Nah... Actually, I've started to think that I managed to push through all the pain because I wanted to pass the crown on to you.
I feel like all my efforts were rewarded. And even now, I don't think I was ever mistaken about the emotions I felt back then.
Tsukasa: ...You think too highly of me, Leo-san.
Leo: I don't think of you highly enough.
---
[1] Reference to the fable "The Fox and the Grapes".
---
< Until the Morning Light Chapter 1 || Masterlist || Until the Morning Light Chapter 3 >
